We are getting ready to make a cross country move. From the high desert of NV to the coastal area of northern FL. I haven't talked much about our upcoming change ... basically because I do not like change. But... I'm getting better. A few years ago i would have said "I hate change" and that is so not the case now. I have had practice.
I never have liked "ending" something good... a relationship, a good book (don't you always want to read the happily ever after?), a TV series... who didn't cry at the end of Friends or ER?! I hated the end of high school and college (though i must say i'm glad now for those endings!). One f the worst "endings" for me was when we had to move from our first duty station in Brunswick, ME. We loved it there. I mean LOVED it. It is so beautiful.. the summers are short, but amazing. Everyone is outside.. sitting in Adirondack chairs :) The coast is beautiful.. rocky, lush, and green. Something i had not seen as i was used to vacationing in the southeast. The falls are a gorgeous pallet of colors. Some of my favorite memories have colorful foliage as the backdrop. The winters were indeed cold and icy. I like winter though. I love sweaters and I wore one nearly everyday :) Spring was wet.. blooming. My allergies kicked in but the rain smelled good.
sigh... we just loved Maine. As good as the surrounding small northeast town was.. the friendships we kindled were far surpassing. It was our first duty station out of flight school. We were taken under some wonderfully seasoned wings.. and stood along side of some other completely green newbies. We went through deployments together, took care of each other, crafted, laughed, cried, and many of us entered another new stage of being a mommy! Basically, we grew up into adults :) and that was the worst part for me... leaving all those wonderful people.. even if some of them left me first or were moving soon after. (such is military life).
I felt like if i left the place.. i was leaving the friends and with that the memories. I had a warped view. And man did i wallow in it. I cried at the drop of a hat. I was mad at Matt (I guess it was his fault because He was in the Navy and the Navy was making me change). ... yep.. warped.
I remember leaving and crying all the way to Boston (2 hours). I would have loved to turn around, but of course we couldn't. What i didn't realize at the time was how much I was robbing myself. I was so self absorbed in all the things i didn't want to leave that I had not given one thought to what was ahead for us. I had no joy in the adventure of moving to a new area (hello.. there are a lot worse places than San Diego!) But i didn't want to hear any of that. I let no excitement in. I decided i hated San Diego before we got there, which lead to a miserable first 8 months or so. I had decided I did not want to go through leaving friends that had become like family again.. so i would just go through this tour with out letting anyone really get to know me. After all, Matt wouldn't be deploying this tour, so I was good.
Not so much! I am a "girlfriend" through and through! I am a friend of other moms. I am a Navy wife who enjoys helping other families when the inevitable things go wrong during deployment. I am a friend who will sit and have some wine .. for no reason at all :) I will watch your kids and i thank you for reciprocating. I need girls nights out!! I'm not saying I'm a great friend... I'm saying I NEED girlfriends and the love that comes with a true friendship. And once i realized that was what i was greatly worried about missing... I realized it was exactly what i was missing out on!
It was a slow process but i started letting people in and before I knew it .. I was happy in San Diego and I had some wonderful friendships too! (and .. yes.. I cried hard leaving there too.) I started letting God work on my perspective and asked Him to "change how I viewed change". and He did. I stopped seeing it as an ending. but as a beginning and most importantly a chance to continue. To continue friendships from far away and to continue new beginnings for our family. Sure, I can't keep up with everyone on a day to day basis.. but facebook sure helps! And the friends that really became family.. we went through real day to day life together.. it doesn't matter how long it's been since we've seen each other or talked.
So.. here i go again. I don't want to leave my friends here.. but this time I am excited about our new beginning and the opportunity to continue.
linking to:
I never have liked "ending" something good... a relationship, a good book (don't you always want to read the happily ever after?), a TV series... who didn't cry at the end of Friends or ER?! I hated the end of high school and college (though i must say i'm glad now for those endings!). One f the worst "endings" for me was when we had to move from our first duty station in Brunswick, ME. We loved it there. I mean LOVED it. It is so beautiful.. the summers are short, but amazing. Everyone is outside.. sitting in Adirondack chairs :) The coast is beautiful.. rocky, lush, and green. Something i had not seen as i was used to vacationing in the southeast. The falls are a gorgeous pallet of colors. Some of my favorite memories have colorful foliage as the backdrop. The winters were indeed cold and icy. I like winter though. I love sweaters and I wore one nearly everyday :) Spring was wet.. blooming. My allergies kicked in but the rain smelled good.
sigh... we just loved Maine. As good as the surrounding small northeast town was.. the friendships we kindled were far surpassing. It was our first duty station out of flight school. We were taken under some wonderfully seasoned wings.. and stood along side of some other completely green newbies. We went through deployments together, took care of each other, crafted, laughed, cried, and many of us entered another new stage of being a mommy! Basically, we grew up into adults :) and that was the worst part for me... leaving all those wonderful people.. even if some of them left me first or were moving soon after. (such is military life).
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| 2 of my favorite pics.. Gull Cottage where we stayed in beautiful Oct. right before we left |
I felt like if i left the place.. i was leaving the friends and with that the memories. I had a warped view. And man did i wallow in it. I cried at the drop of a hat. I was mad at Matt (I guess it was his fault because He was in the Navy and the Navy was making me change). ... yep.. warped.
I remember leaving and crying all the way to Boston (2 hours). I would have loved to turn around, but of course we couldn't. What i didn't realize at the time was how much I was robbing myself. I was so self absorbed in all the things i didn't want to leave that I had not given one thought to what was ahead for us. I had no joy in the adventure of moving to a new area (hello.. there are a lot worse places than San Diego!) But i didn't want to hear any of that. I let no excitement in. I decided i hated San Diego before we got there, which lead to a miserable first 8 months or so. I had decided I did not want to go through leaving friends that had become like family again.. so i would just go through this tour with out letting anyone really get to know me. After all, Matt wouldn't be deploying this tour, so I was good.
Not so much! I am a "girlfriend" through and through! I am a friend of other moms. I am a Navy wife who enjoys helping other families when the inevitable things go wrong during deployment. I am a friend who will sit and have some wine .. for no reason at all :) I will watch your kids and i thank you for reciprocating. I need girls nights out!! I'm not saying I'm a great friend... I'm saying I NEED girlfriends and the love that comes with a true friendship. And once i realized that was what i was greatly worried about missing... I realized it was exactly what i was missing out on!
It was a slow process but i started letting people in and before I knew it .. I was happy in San Diego and I had some wonderful friendships too! (and .. yes.. I cried hard leaving there too.) I started letting God work on my perspective and asked Him to "change how I viewed change". and He did. I stopped seeing it as an ending. but as a beginning and most importantly a chance to continue. To continue friendships from far away and to continue new beginnings for our family. Sure, I can't keep up with everyone on a day to day basis.. but facebook sure helps! And the friends that really became family.. we went through real day to day life together.. it doesn't matter how long it's been since we've seen each other or talked.
So.. here i go again. I don't want to leave my friends here.. but this time I am excited about our new beginning and the opportunity to continue.
linking to:
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